I am not satisfied with the product you have given me. I think somehow it got broken during shipment, but I think something is wrong. Now I know you gave me this product for free, but that doesn’t mean that it should be bad. See, your product has some holes in it. When I try to enjoy the product, something goes wrong. And now I don’t know what to do. And also, I was looking at the fine print on the label, and you should really warn people better of the side effects. (Ex. Might make buyer depressed, emotional, scared, and heartbroken. Also might include break ups, bullies, friends turning into bullies, the people you love dying, and your lover cheating on you) Why didn’t your company tell me about these dangers in the first place. If you had, I would’ve been more thoughtful in my decision.
Now, I do like your product in some ways. Like when a have these things you call in your brochure “friends.” They’re really nice and comforting most of the times. But sometimes, they can be mean and cruel and make me feel bad about myself. And I don’t like that.
And I also have these things called “parents,” which are nice, but can sometimes be bossy. I’m more of a free spirit type of guy, and I hate when people tell me what to do. It frustrates me.
So please, can you send me something better. Or at least a refund on life.
P.S. Where does one send these?
I got the inspiration to write this post from the comic you see below the letter. It’s my favorite comic from Pearls Before Swine, and I love it. Whenever I feel down, I look at this comic and laugh. Though if there is a more high quality version of life that I can buy, please tell me.