Should I?

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She was right over there, sitting next to her friends. The cafeteria was full of loudmouth kids, talking about something stupid and pointless. I was the only one there who was actually thinking about something important. Like how to ask out her.

Maybe I shouldn’t ask her today. She looks like she’s having a lot of fun with her friends.

Really, you wuss. Ask her. What’s the worst that could happen?

She could say no. I would have to face public embarrassment.

Really drama king. It won’t be that bad. Just ask her if you want to go to the movies.

What if she asks which movie?

So?

The only movie I know that is out is The Hobbit

You got to be kidding me. Just say that she can pick out the movie.

But what if she picks out a one I don’t like?

OH. MY. GOD. Do you want to be her boyfriend?

Yes

Do you want to marry her one day?

Maybe.

Then ask her.

I took a deep breath. My heart was racing. It felt like my feet were anchors. But I went over there…

“Hey, your boyfriend’s coming over.” one of my friends said.

Oh no, he’s coming over.

Maybe he’s not coming over to me.

Yes he is.

Shoot

How do I look?

Beautiful, of course.

Is he going to ask?

What do you think?

I can’t say yes.

Why not?

He’s… and I’m…

Are you serious? Are you going to let those pack of she-demons decide who you like?

But…

No buts! Say yes! Say-

“Um, hello.” he was standing right here. He looked nervous. I knew he was going to ask. “So, do you wanna, well, you know…”

I stood there, waiting for her answer…

I stood there, waiting for my answer…

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4 thoughts on “Should I?

  1. Jeff Peters

    I liked the story. I only have one piece of fiction on my blog so far and it’s similar (a guy and a girl, inner monologue). I like that you have both sides, but I did get slightly confused at the transition.

    Maybe I was just reading too fast though. I had to go back to figure out why it switched from she to he.

    Keep it up!

  2. I like your story line. It is genuinely what a young person deals with. Okay, so I read it twice before grasping that you transitioned from the boy’s pov to the girl’s pov… after saying:
    “I took a deep breath. My heart was racing. It felt like my feet were anchors. But I went over there…”
    Maybe a stronger transition would help as it gets a bit confusing.
    You’re doing great. Keep on writing! 🙂
    Eliz

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