Living a Double Life (A confession)

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        We live in a wonderful world. A world where you do whatever you want to do, see whatever you want to see, and be whoever you want to be.

Which is exactly what I’m doing. Because I’m not who I say I am.

        My name is Thomas Kindmoore. At least that’s who you think I am. But not really. The only truthful thing about my name is my first name. My first name actually is Thomas. I didn’t want it to get confusing when I was making my alias, so I decided just to stick with God-given first name. But my last name isn’t Kindmoore. It’s a fake name I created one day when I was thinking about my teacher. Her name was Ms Moore. I have to thank her for helping me with my name. Because I combined Kind with Moore and got Kindmoore. I thought it was a nice little name. At first I was going to call myself Frogger Blogger, but then after a while I hated that name, so I decided I needed something better. When I thought of Thomas Kindmoore, that became my name on the Internets. But now you may be asking,

“Why?”

        Two reasons. One, my mother. She was concerned about my safety on the internet. She knows about all of the creepy weirdos on their that would love an innocent kid like to me. For a while she wouldn’t even let me use my first name, which I thought was kind of dumb because there are about a million Thomas’ out there. The second reason was I wanted to separate the actual Thomas from the Internet Thomas. Because if someone from my school saw that I had a blog and a YouTube and all of that… well that wouldn’t be good for Actual Thomas. Having a blog isn’t the biggest source of masculinity. And I’m not ashamed of my blog. I just want somewhere where I can be… real. It’s ironic. The fake version of myself is more real than my real myself. Because in real life I have to be careful what I say. I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot or a nerd. I don’t want people calling me gay. So usually I have to act a little bit… not me. I don’t act like I love Pokemon and poetry at school in front of my classmates. If I did that, then I would be called gay until after high school. So I carefully plan what I say so I’m not ridiculed. But here, I can say whatever I want. I can act as nerdy I want without people calling me nerd or gay. And it’s awesome. Sometimes I rather be Thomas Kindmoore than Actual Thomas. Because then I wouldn’t be socially awkward at my school and be able to say whatever I wanted. But unfortunately we still don’t live in a world where people can like video games and poetry and not football and rap and not be harassed about it.

So until then, I’m Thomas Kindmoore. 

 

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2 thoughts on “Living a Double Life (A confession)

  1. The Howling Fantogs

    I think not giving your full name is a wise idea. I live the fact that I can be so honest on my blog to a bunch of people who don’t know me.

  2. Hm, as a person who actually IS gay but didn’t tell anyone about it in high school (that was some years ago), I am wondering one thing. Are the known gay students in the school now all called ‘gay,’ or do they become divided into the perceived sappy ones who are called ‘gay’ and the perceived regular-guy ones who are NOT called ‘gay’ even though everyone knows they are?

    I find it curious that our noble group name became a synonym for ‘wimpy.’ But then, my 19 year old nephew calls his girlfriend ‘bro’ as they play Black Ops together, so words are not always what they seem. He’s even been known to call his mom ‘bro.’

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