That’s a lot of useless nonsense


I’ve finally hit the thousand tweet mark on my Twitter. I knew it would happen eventually. I just had so much useless nonsense that apparently had to go on Twitter. Sometimes I would make jokes:20140614-205454-75294476.jpg

Then there was just random stuff that apparently I thought you guys had to know about.



And apparently I also know what you need in life. A dog and a PS4. That’s it. Because who needs water, oxygen, food, and shelter when you have cuteness and video games.


So yeah. Can’t wait for the next 2,000.


Aren’t Terrorist Threats Just Hilarious


Well apparently a 14 year old girl thought so. That’s why she said on Twitter to American Airlines that she was apart of Al Qaida and on June 1st she would do something really big. And American Airlines wasn’t really happy about that tweet. To find out more, watch this video about how this girl made me lose all hope in humanity.

Also I got this comment, and Melissa, thanks for calling me “smart and cute.” I’m not sure if you’re hitting on me or not, but whatever it is, you is cool.


(And also you forgot to put an apostrophe in you’re, but it’s okay. We won’t judge you)

Giving Up Social Media


For Lent, I’m giving up Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. It’s going to be a rough 46 days for me (Or however long Lent is). I talk about it in my video, where I also talk about someone stealing my SIM card from my phone (jerk), and a new song called #Selfie that I heard on the radio that was so horrible my ear buds wanted to die. Some may say it was #horrible.
You know what. Just watch the dang vid.

I Might Die


Hello. Right now I’m sipping on a Starbucks Tall Salted Caramel Frappacino while contemplating that I might die in a few hours.

I don’t usually contemplate my death. I’m not a weirdo. But the reason I chose now to do it is because I’m about to board a plane to California. I actually really like planes. To me, airports are pretty cool, and being on planes are exciting. I mean, I can be watching X-Files while 30,000 meters of the ground. You can’t regularly do that. But I know that you can also die while up 30,000 meters of the ground. I’ve seen enough news stories about airplanes crashes to keep me cautious. Cautious enough where I’m scared the whole plane ride, but cautious enough where I’m like, "I might die today."
I’m well aware that the pilots are trained professionals. They have gone to flight school and everything, and that they know perfectly well what they are doing. But still. What if something malfunctions? What if a bird gets sucked into the engine? These things happen. And they might happen on my plane.
Now as I said, I’m not too worried. Chances are that I’ll be perfectly fine and won’t die inside 100 pounds of steel. But still, I think of my death. I look back to my life and ask, What if I died today? What will people remember me by? I mean, I’m only fourteen. The only highlight of my short life is that I once won a contest on a magazine. That’s it.
No one expects a boy to do anything special in the 14 years he’s been alive. But I wonder how people will remember me by when I die.
See. This is what happens when you start contemplating your death. You ask philosophical questions about your life.

So most likely, I’ll be fine. But if I’m not, this will be the last thing I’ll ever say. I feel like I should say something for important and special for people to remember me by. The only think I can think of is this.

Mom, before we left to go to the airport, I used your bathroom and I misfired. A lot. Sorry your bathroom smells like piss.

An Open Letter to Broke Gamers


Dear Gamers on a Budget,
Like you, I am not rich. Saying that, apparently people who make video games think we are. In the old days that my dad used to speak of, games costed $5 at best. Well maybe, I don’t actually know. All I know is it’s cheaper than what video games are selling these days. A new CoD game costs $60. $60! In the times we live in, that costs a lot for just a disc that let’s you shoot people. Now for some people, they’ll pay the price for their Halo 15’s and their Call of Duty 28’s, but for other’s, they can’t. Timed are tough, and to some people spending $60 on a game will mean none left for their Ramen Noodles money. They can’t afford it. Their only option is to wait a year, if they’re lucky, for it to become half price, but by then Battlefield 42 is out and they’ll feel sad because they can only get Battlefield 41.
But now, there is something beautiful. And it’s called Humble Bundle. If you don’t know what it is, then you’re going to be so happy when I tell you. It’s a wonderful website where you can awesome games such as Mark of the Ninja, Limbo, Fez, and much more. Each Bundle comes with 4-9 awesome games. And how much does it cost, you ask. We’ll this is the great part. However much you want to pay. You can pay from $1-$1000 on these games. Any amount you choose. Now you’re probably wondering, what’s the catch? Is there some hidden fee or is it going to send me spam emails. Nope and nope. No hidden fee. No spam. It’s wonderful. And you probably think that’s it. How can it get any better? We’ll it can, because some or your money goes to charity.
And your mind just exploded.
How it works is you tell it how much you want to pay, then let’s you split up the money on how much you want to give to the developers, the charities, and the tip for Humble Bundle. It goes to charities like Child’s Play that help kids in hospital and other stuff like that.
So to recap, you can spend as much as you like on 4-9 games, and your money goes to charity. What are you waiting for. GET HUMBLE BUNDLE NOW!

Me During Vacation


This is me during vacation.
Right now I’m in one of the best hotels I’ve ever been in. They have two pools and a hot tub where you can order cool drinks like PinĂ£ Coladas (Don’t worry, it’s virgin). And also, my hotel is right on the beach, so I could be surfing or making sandcastles or riding my bike along the beach.
But I’m not doing any of that.
Instead, I’m resting in my hotel room, eating whatever this is and watching X-Files while the rest of my family is at the pool like normal people.

And that’s me during vacation.